Conference 'Economics of Non-violence...' - Report [6.03] - Dr. Hema Pokharna

Sixth Plenary Session:
Convergence of Values - Spiritual, Political & Economic

Dr. Hema Pokharna

Dr. Hema Pokharna, a biochemist by profession, presented a paper titled “Non-violent Communication and Social Change”.

She began with an exposition of her interpretation of the meaning of ‘Namaste’-You and I together, that’s the real representation of what ‘Namaste’ means. It’s the bowing down to the divinity in others. Yet, we at times let go of this quality and behave in ways that are not very enhancing. What’s that happens to us that we are no longer connected to our divinity? This is something that made her explore and she came up with Marshall Rosenberg’s process of Non-violent communication. The following points need pondering:

• It’s our life’s alienative thinking that creates the disconnection and prevents the expression of divinity. Non-violent communication is the ability to make an observation versus an evaluation. If anything unpleasant happens to us, our first response is to blame somebody or say that the system is wrong. We tend to put the responsibility on someone else and then describe it in a way and bring the thinking process in that way. So, to begin with non-violent practice we must begin with a simple observation, become a video camera, and simply pick up what the facts, figures and words are, without evaluating or interpreting that thought process, when we judge somebody or create a wrongness, is what creates irritation and frustration leading to non-violence.
• Awareness of what happens to us, in our body in terms of feelings. Feelings are physiological changes and emotions are triggered when needs are not being met. When we are appreciated we feel happy, otherwise hurt, disrespected and alienated.
• Ability to stay connected with the unmet needs without blaming or putting anybody to shame.

She then narrated an anecdote regarding Lord Mahavira and Chandakaushik. Lord Mahavira was able to exude milk instead of blood. It’s a symbolic way of saying, that anger, frustration, hurt was transformed into compassion. Chandakaushik was a black, poisonous snake and had terrorized the village. When Mahavira was travelling with his message of non-violence he taught Chandakaushik about non-violence. After several days, when Mahavira came again, he found Chandakaushik bleeding, bruised and hurt. He asked him what had happened. The snake said that you told me about non-violence and you see the consequences. Mahavira replied that I had told you to be non-violent, but I did not tell you not to hiss. One ought to hiss or say ouch in a way that involves no blame, no criticism, but simple observation will help one by being more effective in one’s efforts to make changes. The moment we criticize the other person, he tends to disconnect himself from you. So, the idea is tostay connected and keep communicating because each action anybody takes is really trying to meet his own needs and our needs and the other’s needs are very similar. By following this non-violence becomes a simple and workable process.