Dr. Mandakini Pokharna
Jaina Convention
Federation of Jain Associations In North America
Power Of Gratitude
 Mandakini Pokharna Mandakini Pokharna, MD. Practices internal medicine in Chicago. Also trained at the center of Nonviolent Communication, together with her sister Hema Pokharna they have created and taught inspiring and lively workshops across the country and around the world introducing the audience to the basic skills and concepts of compassionate and fulfilled living. Their workshops use a variety of practical and innovative techniques including lecture, discussion, e-playing, story telling and puppet play designed to stimulate thought, creativity and connection. |
The important piece about gratitude is that when I give verbal or written gratitude to someone providing the other with specific information of what actions of theirs made a difference in our life, it becomes a feedback and may serve as a fuel for contributing to life moment by moment. This feedback gives us specifics for making life wonderful at all given times.
When my sister expresses gratitude by saying to me on eating the oatmeal for breakfast, "this is the world's best oatmeal." To me I feel pleased and satisfied that my efforts met her needs for taste and nourishment. So the next time I have a desire to contribute to her wellbeing I know I can make oatmeal for her breakfast with all the dry fruits and nuts in it.
When I express my joy for sitting in the park with warm sun shinning over us and the cool breeze and us sharing of our learning's from a reading. She gets feedback that her participation and the kind of activity that makes life wonderful for me.
I have had amazing connections and developed beautiful relationships just by sharing what I have enjoyed being with them, which has proved to be life giving and empowering for both of us.
In conflict situations, when I am really mad at someone for saying or doing something that triggered sadness or frustration for me and if I can focus on gratitude for the relationship or just their presence in my life that very moment my whole energy and being gets transformed. And I feel joy and gratitude towards this person. Then I am able to release my anger and focus on the possibilities of what else this could mean or what's keeping this person from making life wonderful.
GRATITUDE AND ENDORPHINS
Studies have demonstrated that when we are in the mode of gratitude there is release of endorphins in the brain. Endorphins are chemicals released by the brain cells which act as natural 'pain killers'. They enhance our sense of well being and boost our immune system. The focus on gratitude could also give you the 'high' in life, that people get by using any drugs and other substances.
Gratitude expressed from the heart and sincerity is yet to break a relationship, whether it is at work or home. Focus on gratitude helps to glue and cement the relationship leading to love and intimacy. In this day and age where violence is so prevalent, any act which stimulates love and compassion is worth over and above the violence exhibited.
Gratitude is not just etiquette but a natural way of celebrating life. When expressed in spontaneous ways, gratitude helps restore peace, awe, and a sense of well-being in your life.
JAINISM AND GRATITUDE
Since Jainism firmly believes in the doctrine of karma, the prayers are deep expression of gratitude, appreciation and adoration of the virtues possessed by the liberated souls or Arihants and the expression of ardent desire to achieve these virtues in one's own actual life. The Namokar Mantra and Jain scriptures have actually enumerated the virtues of different categories of souls such as Arihanta, Siddha, Acharya, Upadhyaya and Sadhu. I believe and have learnt that the practice of Jainism is living in gratitude moment to moment. We study the path shown by those who have achieved liberation with utmost respect and sincerity, because it is the proven path, which they have actually taken during their lives and have obtained the results. We feel very thankful to these great souls for providing us such useful guidance. Therefore, in prayer we express our gratitude, extol and enumerate their virtues and wish that such virtues might also develop in our life. Such prayers constantly reminds us what made them great and in turn help us to develop such virtues in us. In Jain philosophy, this is the process of reverence and celebration of life.
Like dharma dhyana which takes our mind away from artta (pain) and raudra (cruel and harsh) dhyana, which cause the accumulation of the karmas, and are the degrading forces to the self. Having an attitude of gratitude keeps focused on the goodness of life and living and our potentials to enrich and enhance life moment to moment and constitutes the best type of Satsanga, which leads us to right path to realize the Truth.
WAYS TO CULTIVATE GRATITUDE
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- Write thank you notes regularly
- Keep a gratitude journal by writing out any number of gratitude's I feel for all the things in your life including the rising sun, the beauty of nature, various expressions in the form of words and actions that we encounter by all that we cross paths with in our life.
- Gratitude circle is creating a space for sharing gratitude with the members of the group present usually friends and family. When we visit with our friends, at the end of our stay we sit together in a circle and take turns to share of at least one thing that each member of the group said or did that made life wonderful for us. And also sharing one thing about ourselves that we feel grateful for.