Anop R. Vora
Jaina Convention
Federation of Jain Associations In North America
Arrogance
 Anop R. Vora Rochester, NY Anop R. Vora is the Past President of JAINA founder President of the International Alumni Associations of North America, and a speaker in interfaith programs. He has published similar articles - in the past - on: anger, forgiveness, What religion should mean to us, Jain model of learning process, theory of karma, and liberation through meditation. |
Arrogance is a serious destructive human emotion like anger, deception, jealousy, and greed. It is also a means of communications and dialogue through body language. Encarta dictionary defines it as contemptuous pride- a strong feeling of self-importance that is expressed by treating others with contempt or disregard. Other equivalent words for arrogance are: conceit, egotism, superiority, false pride, overconfidence, superciliousness, self- importance, and condescension. Many world religions such as Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Taoism have described arrogance as a sin and condemned it in no uncertain terms.
If we study the history of mankind, we will find that it is replete with stories of people who fell from grace or were destroyed or were bruised badly by arrogance. These stories support the common knowledge that the people who are affected with arrogance usually become 'blind' and stubborn, live in a dream world, and cannot see what others see. Nor do they realize that they have a serious mental disease. Usually they walk around with a large ego, surround themselves with like-minded selfish friends and they tend to see - with jaundiced eyes - arrogance in others, not in themselves! They are out to prove to the world how smart and superior they are compared to others.
Arrogance is very difficult to get rid of because the person who has this vice usually is close minded, tends to be vindictive and possesses a large dose of anger as well. Further more, very few people would be willing to bring this problem to his or her attention because of unpredictable response and even hostile reaction to any honest feedback offered. Clearly, the risk/ reward ratio is very unfavorable for them. Likewise, well wishers like parents or a spouse may try a few times but they also keep quiet after a while out of frustration. So in the absence of genuine feedback and guidance, it becomes a lonely journey; making it very difficult to take any corrective actions. To make matters worse, many people tend to pamper the ego of the arrogant person, allowing the vice to take even a stronger hold on the person.
Although anger and arrogance - both are bad vices, which one is worse compared to the other? In my opinion, arrogance is far worse than anger because anger at least needs a catalyst from outside while arrogance does not. We can hide anger but arrogance is apparent to all around us. Anger in many cases is transient in nature and it may subside in due course and may be easy to forget and forgive but arrogance is an ongoing phenomenon fueling fire on a continual basis. An arrogant person is constantly occupied in boosting his own ego and does not hesitate to employ devious means to earn undue respect, prestige or salutations.
Anger may exist without arrogance but arrogance is almost invariably accompanied with anger. Arrogance and anger form an explosive combination that can easily turn a person violent and make him lose his sense of discretion. He will hurt others and also hurt himself in the process If we closely observe, we can easily identify people around us whom we can characterize as being arrogant - friends, relatives, political, religious, community leaders etc. It appears that the vice is inherent in humans and has been prevailing through the time immemorial.
Humility has been identified as a very effective antidote for arrogance by the spiritual teachers all over the world and have recommended that parents become proactive during the formative years in inculcating the importance of humility through practice as well precept. This is an excellent way to nip arrogance in the bud. However, nowadays with so much focus on individualism, the modern trend is to move away from modesty and humility. The modern society as it boosts confidence in self, ends up boosting ego and false pride leading to arrogance. Early on, a more and more competitive spirit is instilled in the child in sports and school achievement. Parents set bad examples by bragging about child's achievements which forms basis for manifestation of arrogance. As we promote slogans such as "winning is the only thing that matters" or "win at any cost" or "achieving by hook or crook," it not only increases the competitive spirits but also induces false pride, ego, dishonesty and most certainly arrogance in our youth. Consequently, arrogance gets ingrained in our character and manifests at different levels later in life.
How do we change ourselves? Is there any way to transform our arrogance into humility? A spiritual guide or a therapist can possibly steer us in the right direction, help us see the truth and more importantly our faults and put us on the right path. But ultimately it is we who have to follow the guidance and put it in practice. Just like a doctor can diagnose our problem, prescribe us the right medicine but cannot take it for us, a spiritual mentor or a therapist can diagnose our problem and show us corrective solution but cannot do it for us. Our desire for corrective action must spring forth from within.
The following practical steps can help us in recognizing our problem and rectifying our behavior:
- Acknowledge the problem - The first step is the recognition and acceptance of the problem. Unless one accepts that there is a problem and is willing to do something about it, nothing can happen. If a sick person refuses to accept the fact that there is something wrong, he or she will not seek medical help.
- Do a reality check - One way we can deflate our ego is to see that there is always someone who is better than us no matter how inflated we feel about our wealth, power, knowledge, talent, appearance etc. We need to realize that the objects of our arrogance and good fortune could all disappear over night because every thing in life is transient and cyclic.
- Know that this too shall pass - Every time we go through an ego boosting situation, we need to come back to earth by remembering this important scriptural message.
- Remind ourselves that truth has many angles and perceptions are relative - Like the blind men describing the elephant, we must remind ourselves that ours may not be the only correct viewpoint. To find the right approach, we need to be polite and receptive enough to listen to the ideas and view points from people with different cultures and backgrounds. Some times we will discover that we were way off in our approach! Being polite does not mean a total agreement with the view points of the opponent. It only means listening to the other party consciously. Listening with a spirit of reconciliation cannot co-exist with arrogance!
- Humility produces positive results - We need to understand that humility generates respect, co-operation and pleasant vibrations while dealing with our fellow human beings. Arrogance on the other hand invites contempt, dislike and hate. Both arrogance and humility show up in our demeanor and dialogue. Our choice should be obvious.
- Arrogance obstructs and humility fosters resolution of conflicts. More problems have existed throughout history because of ego clashes. If we show humility to others in resolving a conflict, even our opponents will calm down and show a way to get out of it. On the other hand, if we are perceived as arrogant, our opponents will play hard ball and devise ways to teach us a lesson, thereby lowering the chances of resolution.
Conclusion
Being polite is divine; being arrogant is like committing a spiritual suicide. Looking at the history of mankind and judging from the way arrogant people at all levels have fallen, we should be convinced that arrogance does not pay in the long run. Having said that, let us also accept that very few of us lead a perfect life. We may have become arrogant at one time or the other in our interactions with others. But if we remain alert and examine our own behavior objectively, we will find that every time we became arrogant and asked our inner voice; it would almost always tell us that we were wrong in what we did. We will realize that our mind was overpowering us without being cognizant about it and we will feel sorry about own ignorance.
Going forward, let us be more vigilant and aware of arrogance and other destructive emotions that are our inner enemies. Just being aware of them is a giant step in the right direction. It holds the key to solving our problem. Next time, if we run into any trying situation, let us act with a spirit of conciliation and humility. We may get surprised at the positive results. This should motivate us to keep trying again and again until we lessen the intensity of our vice in a significant way. We will never know about the miracles humility can produce until we try!