Editor Carla Geerdes
When the three of us started the trip to spirituality, none of us was aware of the kind of adventure we were stepping into:
To discover new facets of the inner reality, the insight that the inner reality is as real as the outer and that they are interacting permanently throughout the entire span of life and even far beyond it.
To say none of us had expectations, would be only a half-hearted truth. To state that none of us had realised them until they came out and showed their suffering face of deception would cope better with truth. But between thinking the one and realising the other is a straight distance to gap.
All of us were ready to do so and to be ready for it when the decision was taken to spend nearly seven weeks for a spiritual trip. None of us had done this before, Paulo, our friend from Brazil living in Barcelona since ten years, even did not travel to India unto then.
It was on a sunny summer day in Barcelona 2004 when we met last time. We had not seen each other for some years, and the first he asked, was what we had done to be more aged but to look so much changed and energetic. We told him that we were meditating since four and a half years and that we have found our spiritual destination in Jainism. And we invited him to come with us and to see himself. Many friends had put the same questions and got the same answer, but Paulo was the first to do it. So he came to Berlin where all he three of us were starting.
When we started to Ladnun, I asked myself what kind of transformation would occur after having spent six spiritual weeks in the presence of the Guru at the outskirts of the desert Thar. The mentioning of sojourns in the desert in holy scriptures came into my mind, and I was asking myself if the desert itself is a spiritual component or if this is valuable only for saints and seers. Looking out of the car’s window, I felt like day dreaming, and forgotten incidents of my life came not only to my memory again, but also the lessons they contained were disclosed all of a sudden.
My thoughts went back five years ago, when I met H. H. Acharya Mahaprajnaji for the first time. Since then both of us, my husband and me, are constant practitioners of meditation. One year later, both of us came to India to visit him again, and we got our names. Since then we feel adopted and spiritually at home.
I asked myself how my life would have been developed if I had started to meditate in a younger age, but felt very happy at the same time to have come to it at all. Meditation inspired answers to the main questions moving me and where question marks have to be put instead of exclamation marks. I was taking for granted to know who I am, to know my limits and my strength, and to be able to accept the strength of others and to respect their limits, without relating this to me and reacting on it. I thought to have internalised to stay with myself and to mingle no longer into affairs that don’t regard me. This was hard enough to take into consideration, so I took good will for completed action, when noticeable effects of meditation seemed to have created a new alertness. All this seemed very clear to me.
The path one has to follow to get connected with the inner self is an individual one, there is no universal formula, but Preksha Meditation is the universal method. One is able to experience contentment and happiness in life, no outer objects can provide. We only have to be prepared to objectify ourselves, and to perceive carefully what is moving us, what are our feelings, our thoughts, without likes and dislikes. Such was the mix-up of my thoughts, and I really was convinced that I had learned so well the lessons meditation can teach.
I noticed that there were lots of kites in the sky. In every village the youngsters were on the roofs and had a lot of fun with their kites. Sometimes meditation is very similar to the handling of a stunt kite, one has to pay attention when the winds are blowing strong and the kite is passing the different air films. One has to be alert when starting to meditate. Different from social activities, in meditation there is no aim to reach and one should beware of defining mentally where one wants to go, contrary to our worldly perspectives.
The most difficult is to stop talking and showing movies to oneself. We have to teach our whole mental and physical systems to calm down and relax, before we can start to change our emotions and our attitude towards life. This process of calming down to perceiving the inner reality takes much time for an untrained person, and different from my then view, this is not the most difficult task. As a matter of fact, when the difficulties to sit motionless and meditate increased, the process of calming down was really successful… My Jain teachers have always encouraged me to hold on and even told me that they also sometimes had similar experiences in times of pretended deadlock, when they were ready to go deep inside.
Most people of the western culture find it difficult to accept the inner reality as a part of our being equal to the outer world. They fear the loneliness implied in the spiritual path. Unlike the outer reality, the inner cannot be retraced by everyone just following technical instructions. Everyone has his own reality. In the spiritual world we are individuals objectifying ourselves and we are the only ones to experience what we are experiencing, we cannot share our experiences with others, and there is no social get-together in it.
When we reached our destination Ladnun, I was astonished to see how the campus of Jain Vishva Bharati had changed since my last visit five years ago. Some buildings were newly constructed, and nearly all buildings had got a new paint. The gardens were more park-like than five years ago, and they had even increased in number, it was very nice to see how well all is maintained.
On the campus we met many Samanijis known to us and were happy that they remembered our names. When we reached the IPMC registration office, we were welcomed by dear friends from Surat, Lalith Dugar, brother of Kumar Shraman, and Siddhardt Bothra. We were asked if we want first dinner or to see His Holiness, Acharya Mahaprajna, they could show the way to either. Sure we wanted to see the Acharya first, the master of the sounds of silence and teachings without words!
On our way, I repeated for myself again the words of ‘Tikuto…’ the correct salutation for His Holiness. The situation at JVB London came into my mind, when Samani Jinpragyaji wanted me to learn this by heart and I was asking, why she thinks necessary for me to learn formulas in Hindi when I do not speak Hindi. Her quiet reply was motivation enough: “You want to address Him in the correct way, won’t you?”
When we arrived, it was the right time! Pratikraman had not yet started, and we were in front of H.H. all of a sudden! I was a little bit excited because of the Hindi words, but all went well. And then, this look from his eyes! Such a stream of warm energy was moving all my cells, I felt really enchanted and very, very happy. We were home after a long absence! We were happy to be where we were and felt like stepping out of time. Then the hour of Pratikraman had come, and we went to dinner.